40 Things I’ve Learned

in 40 Years

Jun 30, 2025

40 Things I’ve Learned in 40 Years

(And yes, coffee deserves its own category.)

Nine months in and turning 40 feels like finally slipping into the right skin. Not the smoothest, but definitely the realest. It’s the moment when you start choosing silence over noise, quality over chaos, and guiltless indulgence over the illusion of control. You know what you like (and what gives you hives or IBS), and you stop performing for people who wouldn’t even notice the effort. And double yes, stop staying in relationships, friendships, workships etc. that you know are not right but keep at It any way.

This isn’t a listicle. It’s a love letter to the version of me who survived, rebuilt, and kept it weird. Here are 40 things I’ve learned—not just in theory, but through doing, failing, laughing, leaving, and sometimes crying in the Whole Foods parking lot (which I’ve done more than once).

1. Coffee is non-negotiable.
Not just a caffeine delivery system. A ritual. A small daily ceremony that says: I’m here. I’m alive. I’m excited to wake up for this hit of joy.

2. If you’re the weirdest person in the room, you’re probably in the right room.
Weird is where art lives. If you feel too much, too different, too anything—good. Stay there. That’s your frequency.

3. Get good at leaving.
Jobs. Apartments. Lovers. States. Burned-out identities. Don’t overstay what’s already expired. Leaving is a love language for your future self. Just don’t be cruel about It if you can avoid It.

4. Sunscreen is skincare.
Nothing screams “I love myself” more than SPF. Bonus points if it doubles as a serum, smells like citrus and cedarwood, and layers like a dream. (Hi, NOTO’s Safe Sun SPF 30.). I hate admitting It, but It does work.

5. Being hot and being kind are not mutually exclusive.
Powerful combo, actually. Unbothered and benevolent? That's the vibe. Don’t think you need to be a bitch to get ahead. It aint cute.

6. If someone tells you they don’t like your outfit, double down.
You’re not dressing for approval. You’re dressing for the altar of your own aesthetic. Let them flinch. And know that you will cringe at photos of yourself in the future, but be proud you tried things out.

7. Reinvention is not failure. It’s evolution.
I’ve had so many moments in my life where I had to start over or wanted to start over. There is a soft phase of questioning yourself, but knowing you’re doing what you are meant to be never lets you down…Studio Noto was born from letting go of what no longer fit. You’re allowed to shapeshift. That’s not inconsistency—it’s intelligence.

8. Therapy. Do it.
Even when things feel “fine.” Especially then. You don’t have to be broken to want deeper understanding. You just have to be human. And there’s always room to grow. If you stop evolving, you might as well just give up.

9. Moving cities can save you.
Portland gave me softness after LA taught me armor. New places stretch you into new versions. Don’t be afraid to follow the pull.

10. Packing light is a spiritual practice.
Literally and metaphorically. Carry only what feels essential and beautiful. It pays off.

11. Use an electric toothbrush.
Nothing revolutionary here. Just do it.

12. No one knows what they’re doing.
Some people just fake it louder. The real flex is learning as you go and being cool with the mess of it.

13. Your face is allowed to change and your hair can gray.
Aging is not failure—it’s a living archive. There’s beauty in letting time leave its mark. A soft line. A new depth. Let it happen. I am still telling myself this one too.

14. Good design is worth it.
Whether it’s a chair, a shirt, or a moodboard—it’s not just aesthetics. It’s frequency management. Design the life you want to live in.

15. Community over competition.
Collaboration is wealth. Love on your peers. Celebrate other people’s wins. There’s more than enough light to go around.

16. There’s power in quitting.
We glorify grit, but sometimes grace looks like walking away. If something’s draining your soul, leave. Even if it has benefits. It’s okay to walk away. Who made up the rules anyway?

17. Your inner teen still needs love.
She of the overplucked brows, combat boots, and queer longing. She knew. Revisit her. Let her play again.

18. Don’t trust people who are rude to baristas.
Or retail workers. Or janitors. Or anyone, really. It’s not about coffee—it’s about character.

19. Art saves.
I’ve built brands, bookshelves, and bathrooms around beauty. When things fall apart, art is where I return. Even if it’s just a playlist.

20. Moisturize your neck.
And the tops of your hands for that matter. You’ll thank me in 20 years.

21. Friendships can be soulmates.
The late-night text people. The “I see you” people. The ride-or-die, cry-on-the-floor, dance-in-the-kitchen kind of people. The people you can have hard conversations with and only get closer people. The go on vacation every year together people. That’s gold.

22. “No” is a full sentence.
You don’t need a spreadsheet of reasons. Or an apology. Or a smiley face.

23. Buy the good olive oil.
The one in the pretty bottle. The one that makes your greens taste like vacation. Life is too short for sad salad.

24. Being an artist is a job.
Don’t let LinkedIn culture fool you. Making something out of nothing is a real career. And a real flex. Sexy. All the good stuff.

25. Your house can be your muse.
Paint the walls. Light the incense. Read naked on the couch. Your space should turn you on creatively.

26. Romanticize your own life.
Drink water from a wine glass. Wear silk to do nothing. Make everything feel like a scene in the movie of you.

27. Don’t date someone who’s intimidated by your success.
If they flinch when you speak about your accomplishments, they’re not your match—they’re your mirror. And not the kind you want in your bedroom. The right person will hype you, hold you, and remind you who the hell you are when you temporarily forget. If they shrink when you shine, walk. They won’t silently or not so silently resent you.

28. Softness is strength.
We’ve been taught to equate power with edge. But the strongest people I know lead with softness. It disarms. It heals. It wins.

29. Stretch.
Your limbs. Your limits. Your capacity to love and let go. Also It helps you feel young. Mobility is the fountain of youth.

30. Fall in love with someone who loves your brain.
Looks fade. Playlists get shared. But someone who’s turned on by your ideas? That’s the long game. I found mine. Thanks be.

31. Glamour is not dead.
It just whispers now. A sharp collar. A rich scent. A glint of silver in your hair. Quiet luxury is a state of being. Don’t be boring if you can avoid It.

32. You can be spiritual and still say “fuck.”
You can sage and protest. Pray and party. Be sacred and silly. We contain multitudes, am I right?

33. Make things with your hands.
Candles, pasta, playlists, drawings. The body needs to remember it's not just a machine for emails or social media.

34. Protect your mornings.
Don’t let the scroll steal your energy. Give yourself ten quiet minutes. Watch the light shift. Drink the coffee. That’s the real wealth. Still working on this one too.

35. Own less, love more.
Let go of the excess. Edit your life like you would your closet: keep what fits and makes you feel amazing. (Except ceramics—you’re allowed to hoard those.)

36. No is not rejection. It’s redirection.
Every closed door led me closer to myself. Every no gave me a better yes later. Be patient. And as cheesy as this sounds, trust the process. Often times, the thing I really needed or wanted showed Itself after the other thing didn’t work out.

37. Feeling good is a business strategy.
Burnout doesn’t build empires. Pleasure, clarity, and rest do. If it doesn’t feel aligned, it won’t sell.

38. Drink water.
Then coffee. Then water again. You get it. Still working on this one.

39. You’re allowed to get weirder.
In fact, please do. Your weird is where the magic lives. And the money. And the freedom.

40. You don’t have to know what’s next to know that it’s going to be good.
Stop future-tripping. Your intuition is a GPS. Even if it doesn’t give you turn-by-turns. Trust it. Trust you.

Let’s add a 40.5. This, will top the cheese but one thing that has greatly helped me is remembering both the good and bad “This too shall pass” - so either really enjoy It or dont fret too hard on It - because if you want It to or not, It’s gonna be over eventually.

Still here? Then maybe you’re just as reflective as I am. Send this to someone you love. Or maybe just keep it as a reminder: life is long and short, but it’s also now. You get to shape it, sculpt it, and style the hell out of it.

Love,
G

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40 Things I’ve Learned

in 40 Years

40 Things I’ve Learned in 40 Years

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